What is it like?

It's hard to try and explain multiplicity to someone who has not experienced it in some way. We use an imaginative analogy on this page to try and help outline some of the issues and challenges that affect us. Imagine how difficult it would be to give a meaningful answer if somebody from deepest outer space asked you what it was like to be human. We suspect that most of us would be caught out by such a question if asked by a passing extra terrestrial.

What would you say? Where would you start? Well... one thing that is common to all of us is that we eat food. Multiples eat food too of course, but many of us have different issues around food. Some folks within the group wont like the same things as others, perhaps even disliking something that others enjoy. Some of the group might eat too much while others don't eat at all. There may also be eating disorders present. (true in our case). Of course this will vary enormously between multiples. One sort of food anomaly with our group is that most of us like coffee, but for at least one person, the taste of it is really quite repulsive.

Another thing which is important to us as humans is our recreational activities. Someone might tell the intergalactic adventurer that they enjoyed watching films. Well, we enjoy films as much as anybody else, but we are more likely to enjoy a more eclectic taste than most folks. If there was a switch (Someone else taking control) it might not be unusual to watch a children's film like Bambi and follow it up with something clearly more appropriate for an adult such as The Omen or one from the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Often we find that we have had a film on and completely lost interest in it because we had switched.

Humans work. Multiples work. This is an area where things can be a bit more difficult for us compared to the average person. One person within the group might love the job, but another might passionately dislike it. Others might just not want to be there. It can be difficult when you switch at work, especially if the person who comes out is a child or someone less able to do the work. Sometimes when we are at work we find that one of us might be worrying about what might be happening at home. Some of our group are very insecure.

Humans have sex... Multiples have sex, but now you are really looking into a can of worms. Some in the group might be really into sex, where others might have no interest whatsoever. Many multiples, like many people in the general population, were abused as kids, so there might be some in the group for whom sex is a horrible thing, perhaps even basic human contact such as cuddling could be terrifying. We prefer to avoid sex, partly because we find it triggering, but mostly because it is gross!

The ideas presented above are true for us, but are mainly examples to show that for multiples, experiences can be completely different and very subjective for each person within the group. The people within the group can be as varied as the people in your street. Some can be male and others female. Gender is an issue- its very distressing for example if a guy comes out and realises that he is wearing a dress, simply because the person who was around previously was a woman.

Sometimes one minute we can be doing something mundane like reading the newspaper or checking our e-mail, and someone really upset can come to the front. We can be really insecure, scared to go to work in case our partner leaves us while we were gone. From reading this you might think that we are dysfunctional. That isn't really the case, just an example of what can happen to us. We can all get scared just the same as any other people. The world is a scary place. To quote Christian Slater in the film 'Pump up the volume' "We're all scared, it comes with having eyes and ears"

This situation where there is more than one of us, with their own thoughts, feelings, opinions etc, sharing the one body is an unusual situation that sure takes a lot of getting used to. Although, we have a level of Co-Consciousness (See below) Communication is a huge issue for us, it is sometimes hard to know what is upsetting one member of the group, and if that upset is not attended to, then it will eventually have implications for the group as a whole. An example of this was one time when we saw a cat at the side of the road that had been killed. Rachael saw it and ignored it, but later that evening we got more and more upset, and it turned out that someone else was upset about the cat.

Perspectives, ideals, desires, needs, hopes, fears and dreams. All of these can vary considerably throughout a multiple group. In many ways its like sharing one body with your neighbours. We hope that this has gone some way to explain what its like to be multiple. But it does not really scratch the surface, still clear as mud huh? Welcome to our world!