What is Multiplicity like?

It is not easy to try and explain what being multiple is like to a person who has neither experienced it nor has been close in some way to someone who does. Trying to express what exactly it is like to share your head with a bunch of different people is challenging. The way that We chose to proceed on this page is to have a look at some of the things that most people take for granted and explore ways in which they can affect us and how they impact on our shared lives.

One of the notable things that affects us is that We are often pulled in different directions. Some people talk of being in two minds when they are struggling to reach a decision of some kind. That sort of conflict is often a daily one for us. On our days off from work this is especially true when several of us desire to do different things. There is a pervasive feeling that time is greatly limited and so much has to be done ASAP to ensure that We have time to do what everyone wants to do. Below we have looked at some examples of things which many people take for granted and explore how they affect us in some way.

Food - some of our group have different issues around food and eating. Some folks do not like to eat the same foods as others. Some might even dislike something that others enjoy. That can be difficult if a different one of us takes control of the body just before or during a meal and whoever is around does not like what has been prepared. Some of the group eat too much while others eat too little. Some of us don't eat at all. One of us is potentially bulimic, and sometimes tries to make us throw up after eating, but this has been less of a problem in recent years. Like everything else, this all varies enormously between different multiples. Spicy foods and coffee are examples of things which significantly divide us. Beef is something that many of us refuse to eat.

Recreation, films - We enjoy films as much as other folks, but We are more likely to enjoy a much more eclectic taste than most folks. If there was a switch it might not be unusual for us to watch a children's film like The Brave Little Toaster, Wall-E or Frozen and follow it up with something clearly more appropriate for an adult such as The Omen or one from the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Often we find that We have had a film on and completely lost interest in it because We had switched. We sometimes find it difficult to sit and concentrate through a whole film, when that happens We just watch it in segments.

Work - This is an area where things are a bit more difficult for us compared to the average person. We were employed as a nurse working with clients who suffer with mental health problems. There are one or two of us who really loved this kind of work. There is one of us who really doesn't like it at all, but most of us were indifferent. Some of us just did not want want to be there, and felt "trapped" when we were working a twelve hour shift. The result of this is that We can sometimes became stressed and felt overwhelmed. It was sometimes difficult when We switched at work, especially if the person who came out was child or someone less able to do the work. Sometimes when We were at work we would find that one of us might be worrying about what might be happening at home. That makes it hard to concentrate.

Sex - This is a real can of worms. Some of us are into sex and others have no interest whatsoever. It's a subject which causes some of us distress and great divisions within our group. For that reason We choose to avoid sex. We do enjoy snuggling though.

The ideas presented above are true for us, but are examples that may show other multiples that our experiences differ from theirs. These experiences can also be completely different and very subjective for each person within the group. The people within the group can be as varied as the people in your street. Some can be male and others female. Gender is an issue- its very distressing for example if a guy comes out and realises that he is wearing a dress, simply because the person who was around previously was female.

Sometimes we can be doing something mundane like reading the newspaper or checking our e-mail, and someone really upset by something can come to the front. We can be really insecure, scared to go to work in case our partner leaves us while we were gone. From reading this you might think that we are dysfunctional. That isn't really the case, just an example of what can happen to us. We can all get scared just the same as any other people. The world is a scary place. To quote Christian Slater in the film 'Pump up the volume' "We're all scared, it comes with having eyes and ears."

This situation where there is more than one of us, with their own thoughts, feelings, opinions etc, sharing the one body is an unusual situation that sure takes a lot of getting used to. Communication is a huge issue for us, it is sometimes hard to know what is upsetting one member of the group, and if that upset is not attended to, then it will eventually have implications for the group as a whole. An example of this was one time when we saw an animal at the side of the road that had been killed. Rachael saw it and ignored it, but later that evening we got more and more upset, and it turned out that someone else was upset about it.

Perspectives, ideals, desires, needs, hopes, fears and dreams. All of these can vary considerably throughout a multiple group. In many ways it is like sharing one body with your neighbours. We hope that this has gone some way to explain what its like to be multiple. But it does not really scratch the surface, still clear as mud huh? Welcome to our world!

April 2024